k, my life is getting oh-so-crappy. fuck. i persevered. i reli did. but this is wht i get in return? Full of dissapointment? is this meant to be my reward for determination God??? i worshipped u and all this crap u are rewarding me?
rewarding me by giving me sarcastic ppl
i tried to be nice to my parents, and they scolded me instead. just because they are irritated. but NOT because of me.
i tried, u know, GOD, i tried....
u mean i treat the ppl arnd me not good enough?
then wht is the treatment u gave me?
i said in a perky voice
but wht i got in my reply is sth so so so irritated.
WTF?
wht i did wrong to deserve this?
u can just tell me by my dreams.
and why the hell am i surrounded by ppl who is acting a smart ass right out of themselves.
just fuck it.
u think my life is a thing u play with as a joke.
u better think twice before u bloody hell mess up my life.
u think i will bow to you and accept this crappy life?
NO.
u think u let me surrounded by fuckers will turn my life into chaos.
NO.
u think letting my family members be oh-so-sarcastic can ruin my life
NO AGAIN!!!!
GOD, sometimes i wanna thank you for giving me some, only some lovely things in my life.
but the next thing u do makes me bleed.
dun think it didn, it actually did.
my heart bled...
because i dunno wht to do with you.
should i still cont worshipping u and think tht u can protect me still,
or think tht u are no more than evil
idk...
i am so clueless

--end--
10:25 pm
15.06.2010